7 Haunts That Will Fuck You Up!

Click to see Voodoo

What you call blasphemy, we hold sacred. What is natural to us, you brand as Pagan. Our saints are your heretics. Your witches are our martyrs. You have your bible and cross, we have our ouija board and pentagram! NOW you have entered OUR sacred ground of VOODOO! Yes, we are savages here in the bayou where you may dread closing your eyes, BUT YOU’LL BE MORE AFRAID TO OPEN THEM!

Click to see Fucking Tent of Clowns

Customer: “You don’t have clowns do you? I can’t handle clowns.”
House Of Shadows: “Clowns? Why no, we don’t have clowns!”

Click to see Monsters

Earlier this year, The House Of Shadows' Boris was shocked when contacted by his bride and informed that Baron Victor Frankenstein was STILL ALIVE! Fifty years ago Boris received news that the Baron had blown himself up, but it wasn't the first time he had heard of his creator's death. Still, with over half a century having passed since receiving any contact at all from the Baron, Boris began to wonder if this last death report was true. Now, Boris has not only recently learned that his former master is alive and well, but en route to the House Of Shadows for an extended stay. Worse, the Baron is reportedly bringing with him some new and very old guests.

Click to see The Doll House

Last November, we found an abandoned doll in the House Of Shadows, which was strange since no children walked through the house. Readying for the Christmas haunt, we placed the doll in a special area. After the season, we went to retrieve the doll and found her with more dolls than we DARE tell you! After the mysterious appearance of the doll’s playmates, clothing, left by customers came up missing, which lead us to the terrifying truth: all the previous owners of the clothes had been recently murdered! As more clothes disappear daily, we fear the worst! Heed our advice: Zip up tight and NEVER turn your back on the dolls!

Click to see Urban Shit Can

Outside of Portland, in an urbanized area called Gresham is the House Of Shadows that just so happens to be home for every degenerate 7-11 reject and crack whore that ever crawled out of a rock and take our word for it, here-NO LIVES MATTER!
Be aware that in Urban Shit Can SHIT FLOATS and SHIT FALLS courtesy of the TWEAKERS - A species like no other because they have no conscience, no fear, and no pity! They can’t be reasoned with because they crave only one thing- “DRUGS” and they think YOU have them! They will not stop until they get what they desire, even it means tearing you limb from limb and your cries of mercy will fall on deaf ears!

Click to see Fuck This!

Welcome to our family reunion and, yes, no worries, we’s contagious! Ole gramps started a tradition when he learned to ply his trade in the slaughterhouse. He was the best killer ever was and never took more than one lick, they say. Our whole family’s in meat now and like mum and dad taught us-we play with our food first and ALWAYS start with the eyes! and… What’s wrong with you? You look nervous! Is it the maggots? FUCK THIS! Is it the blood on the floor? FUCK THIS! Or maybe its JUST the blood in your eyes… FUCK THIS!

Click to see Dr. Herveoux’s Bus Of Swag

Dr. Herveoux is THE best psycho maker in all of Oregon. Being the one-time student of a certain Dr. Jack the Ripper, Dr. Herveoux has one helluva resume! As Oregon’s Shanghai master, Dr. Herveoux has learned to act REAL quick: “Quantity over Quality,” he says. After all, a thigh is just a thigh, an eye is just an eye, and a guest is just a guest. And, with all that cuttin’ goin’ on, he’s got enough extras parts now to share with all of you. Hell, he’s done all the work and now YOU can take home a souvenir from Dr. Herveoux’s Bus Of Swag.